When I found out I was having a boy 29 years ago, I was deeply worried. I thought how can I teach a boy, things that only a man would know? I was close to my dad and felt I would rely on my dad a lot for guidance on raising a son. Especially potty training . Besides I never owned a weiner gun. Someone needed to show me, how to show him; where to aim it in the toilet. We had to learn so much together.
It was easy in the beginning. Infant boys and infant girls have the same needs. Love and attention. I did that, but I made sure I went the extra mile. As he grew older I became more frighten that I would not be able to guide and teach him. I didn’t want to baby him too much, but didn’t want to seem distant as well. Eventually I learned the happy medium. Don’t call him pet names in public, don’t caress his face and say that I love him around his friends and don’t ever sit with him in the movies. I had it all down!
I hated taking him to the barber shop. As expected the barber is filled with men. It was tough finding a good reliable barber. I went through many before I found one that didn’t watch porn in front of kids, curse, speaking down on women and talk about who they had last night. I’d find myself closing his eyes and ears and sometimes walking out. I could have gotten his uncles to take him to get hair cuts, but I was his mom. When he was born I vowed to God I’d be the best mom I could be. Eventually I found a good respectable barber. He was like a grandpa.
Once he became an adult something changed. The space he desired as a teen didn’t seem as desirable anymore to him. He’d ask when is our next lunch date, or when or we going for a drive, by the way when can we just hang out on the couch and talk. Wow! what happened? I thought I was” too mommy” for him. Although the space hurt my heart just a little bit, I knew it was healthy for him to be his own man.
I’ve taught him all the basic things, clean your room, always groom and never play with a woman’s emotions. I’d always say, remember you have a sister and a mother. Our bodies and souls are attached to feelings. Then there are the funny times. Teaching him to ride a bike and drive a car. Watching him graduate from high school and college with my big box of tissue. Oh yeah! I cry when I’m happy and sad. I’m a big cry baby. The milestones that once seemed far fetched and scary. It literally flashed before my eyes.
I worked up so much misery in my head . Perhaps I’m just feeling lucky. With Mother’s Day around the corner. I wanted to jumpstart the joys and memories of motherhood, by expressing my love for my wonderful son. He’s more than I could have imagined. He protective, loving, kind and talented. As soon as he learned to write he could draw. He’s also bilingual. English / Spanish. By which he taught himself Spanish as a kid for the fun of it. He loves eating healthy and working out. As a kid he was bullied for being skinny, quiet and different.
Raising a son wasn’t too bad. I don’t know why I worried so much. He’s know longer my skinny little boy. He is a full fledged intellectual man. I’m a proud mama whom still calls him pet names behind closed doors.